


Colorless Passion

by MegColes



Category: iCarly
Genre: Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2014-01-25 15:25:47
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,937
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9889063/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4874796/MegColes
Summary: By complete accident, Sam and Freddie reunite in a supermarket. Sam has a kid, Freddie has a girlfriend. Do they still share feelings for one another? Or is it all just a figment of their imaginations? Will they allow colorless passion to overcome them? Seddie, rated T. Multi-chap!





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Hi, everyone! I'm back! Sorry I've been away for so long, but some really tragic things have been occurring, and then there's school…I just never really had time to write anymore. But I promise I'll write more, and I'll update this story as frequently as I can. Tell me if you like it with reviews! :)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Freddie, this isn't fair," Briella groaned, swiping a strand of her long, curly, sandy brown hair behind her ear. The wind found its way through the crack in the window, and quickly caught hold of the strand, placing it in her face once again. "I'll be quick; in and out. I swear."

"Ella," Freddie groaned. "You know I'm trying to get home early; I have loads of work to finish up before Monday."

Briella huffed, and sat back in her seat, suddenly very interested in the car riding beside them. _I asked for one thing,_ she thought, but didn't dare to say it aloud. Freddie looked over for a quick second, noticing she had become genuinely unhappy.

Her skin was a rich shade of milky chocolate (she was biracial – her mom white, her dad black), and her hazel eyes shone, even though she was upset with him at the moment. Her sandy brown, curly hair was probably what he loved about her the most – it was a semblance of her true character; feisty and wild. She was the type of girl who'd keep piranhas as pets, and he absolutely loved that about her.

They'd only dated for half a year so far, but it didn't seem likely that their relationship would fail anytime soon, since they'd yet to have any major complications.

Freddie sighed as he switched over into the turning lane, and made his way into the local supermarket. As he parked, Briella unbuttoned her seatbelt, and leant over to peck his cheek before opening the passenger seat door, and rushing into the supermarket.

"Her relationship with lasagna is ridiculous," he mumbled, shaking his head, but couldn't help but chuckle.

It was only then that it occurred to him that the trip back to Seattle had been a long one, and his bladder was not as strong as he'd originally thought. He shuffled out of his seatbelt and exited his car, grabbing his key and rushing into the supermarket after Briella.

"Hey, Ella," he called, noticing her curls bouncing down an aisle. She stopped running and turned back, her face asking 'yeah?' "I'm gonna head to the bathroom, I'll be down there if you need me, okay?"

She flashed him a grin, nodded, and returned to her previous activity.

He rushed to the bathroom, but as he hurried in, he bumped into a young girl – possibly 8 years old, who was rushing out of the girl's restroom door. The child bounced back onto the hard floor, and he quickly helped her up, fully expecting her to lash out in a crying fit. Instead, she simply brushed the dust off her pants, and began to walk away.

"Wait," Freddie squeezed out. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," the girl shrugged. "I've done way worse. When I was 5, I fell in a ditch while riding my bike through a dirt bike field. And then, just last year, when I was six, I climbed onto the roof of my neighbor's house, jumped down, and busted both of my knees open. I had to get twenty stitches, but guess what, it didn't even hurt."

The little girl smiled jubilantly as Freddie's eyes widened in what she took as a look of pleasure. But really, Freddie was mortified, and not at all delighted. "Yanno, my mom told me not to talk to strangers, but you seem pretty cool. Plus, if you'd ever try to injure me, I'd do a double fist dance on your face. My mom taught me how." She held out her hand, and Freddie reluctantly shook it. "The name's Alexandra, but all of my friends call me Alex."

"Well…nice to meet you, Alex. I'm Fredward, but most people call me Freddie." he said, weakly. "So, where's your mom? I'd at least like to notify her that when I bumped into you it was only an accident."

"Oh, my mom? Well, she's most likely loading up on ribs, bacon, and chicken…so, I'd say she's on the meat aisle."

Freddie nodded and followed Alex to the aisle that contained the meats.

"There she is," Alex shrugged. The woman was faced away from them, but from the rear, she looked quite pleasant. Her hair was honey blonde, and she was a real credit to those jeans.

As they approached her, she still did not turn around, but seemed to know who it was – well, at least who one of them was. "Okay, Alex, I think that's enough meat to last us for tonight. What do you think?"

Freddie looked incredulously at the buggy. The meat packages were stacked upon one another, and reached the very top. _To last them for just tonight? That could last them months!_

"Eh, maybe one or two more hams would do." Alex answered, shrugging. "Anyway, mom, I brought you a visitor. His name is Fredward, but luckily, he goes by name Freddie."

Alex's mother looked up and the two immediately locked eyes. Her blue orbs sparkled with intensity and his deep brown eyes widened. Recognition quickly replaced all other thoughts, and they waited for someone to pinch them, feeling like it was all a figment of their imagination.

"Sam?" He breathed, afraid this was real. "Sam, is that you?"

As a reply, Sam nodded, her breathing speeding up. Alex looked back from her mom to the stranger who'd just bumped into her on her way out of the bathroom. "Isn't this the part where you two hug each other? I mean, come on."

A smile spread across Freddie's features like an infectious rash spreading across a person's skin. Without warning, he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He could tell she was tense at first, but soon, she molded into his body.

"Wow," he muttered into her hair. "It's been so long; _too_ long."

Alex titled her head to the side, trying to see if she'd ever remembered her mom mentioning anyone with the name Freddie.

Finally, Sam gained the courage to speak. "I know…"

Behind them, Briella frowned. "Um, baby," she said, causing the two to immediately break apart, though their happy grins remained on their flushed faces. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Uh, no," Freddie stuttered, rapidly making his way over to his girlfriend. "Uh, Sam, this is my girlfriend, Briella. Briella, this is my-"

Freddie stopped himself. What were they? He had no idea. But he continued anyway. "-this is an old friend of mine, Sam."

Sam and Briella smiled at each other, walking forward to shake one another's hand. Awkwardly, Freddie laced his hand around Briella. "So, what'd you need?"

"Oh," Ella smiled. "I was waiting for you by the bathrooms, like you instructed me to do if I needed anything, but you weren't there, so, I walked around and found you…here…with your old friend. Anyway, I was just going to tell you that I'm finished, so I can pay for it, and we can be outta here. See, I told you I'd be quick."

All of a sudden, Freddie didn't care about getting home to do work or using the bathroom. He was really focused on Sam. He hadn't seen her since she'd left for L.A. He'd talked to her, sure, but they went separate ways, both focused on different things at the time. He'd kept in touch with Carly, though, but how could he not? He remained friends with Spencer, who was in direct correlation with Carly. It was kind of hard not to.

He'd ask about Sam sometimes, and Carly kept him updated – to a certain extent, of course. Some things were strictly their business. After a while, he'd stopped asking. And as a result, he'd stopped receiving updates.

Briella shook him, subtly, bringing him back to reality. "Um, yeah, you were quick, baby. But I kind of have something I need to do. Go pay for the lasagna, and I'll be right out, okay?"

Briella looked at him warily, but did as he said. She kissed his cheek before leaving, though he barely noticed.

"Wow," Sam said, forcing a smile. "Your girlfriend seems pleasant."

"Yeah, she is," he answered, not noticing the sarcastic tone the comment held. "So, anyway, I have to go, but I want to still keep in touch with you."

She nodded, smiling, though this one was not forced. "Me too."

He returned her grin, enticed by her perfect snow-colored teeth. Pulling out his phone, he handed it to Sam. "Here, put your number in. I'll text you as soon as I get home."

She smirked, a playful look on her face as she handed him her phone so he could enter his number. "Not if I text you first."

He laughed. "Always up for competitions, Puckett. I see that hasn't changed."

She shook her head. "Nope."

They exchanged phone numbers, and soon, Freddie left the market. Sam leaned back against a nearby wall, biting her lip.

"Wow, mom," Alex said, bringing her out of her trance. "And I thought _I _had it bad for that cute boy from my art class."

Sam rolled her eyes and took out her phone, scrolling through the F's for Freddie's name. Surprisingly, she couldn't find it. _Did he really not put his number in here? I knew it was too good to be true._

But as she pressed "recently added contacts", she saw he had entered a number; he just hadn't entered his name as Freddie.

But he'd entered it as Nub.

She couldn't help but grin as she clicked his contact name and quickly typed a message, pressing send after it was completed.

Meanwhile, as Freddie pulled into his home's driveway, his phone vibrated. He put the car in park and waited until Briella had exited the car.

He read the message. It was from Sam.

**Ha**, it said. **I win. ;)**

_Of course_, Freddie thought, shaking his head, but beaming on the inside. He quickly wrote back:

**Congratulations, Puckett, or…is that still your last name?**

He took his and Ella's luggages out of the trunk, and carried them into the house. As soon as he stepped in, his phone vibrated again.

**Yeah, it's Puckett. I would be a Hillston, but I'm divorced.**

Freddie wrote back:

**Ah, I see. I like Puckett better, anyway. :)**

* * *

**A/N- Thanks for reading! Next chapter soon (hopefully)!**

**Again, I know I've been away, but I've just been really stressed out over a few calamities. Sorry for any inconveniences!**

**Review xx**

**-Meg xx**


	2. Chapter 2

He'd known Briella long enough to discern when something wasn't right, and now, as Briella sat on the couch as distant away from him as possible, her hands in her lap, and her miniature feet apprehensively drumming the floor, he knew something was upsetting her.

And if his impulses were accurate it had something to do with Sam.

Freddie positioned his laptop on the coffee table in front of him, and minimized his document. He glided over to his girlfriend, and draped an arm around her shoulders, trying his best to console her. She shrugged out of his hold, but a restrained grin emerged across her features. It was gone as soon as he'd saw it.

"You're irritated," he stated, matter-of-factly, rustling her elongated, russet curls. "That's not in your nature." Silence. She was giving him the silent treatment. "Aw, c'mon, Ella," he pleaded. "At least tell me what I did wrong."

She snorted as this, her way of being contemptuous. "You've been texting her all day."

He frowned, and titled his head to the side. "Texting who?"

She continued, ignoring his comment. She knew he was trying to act dubious, but it wouldn't work. "You've been smiling, and laughing – I don't think I've seen you this happy in forever." She swallowed. "You told me you were in a rush to finish up work before Monday, yet I see you consistently texting her ever since we got back here. That vivid smile that's on your face…it doesn't just…I can't just ignore that. Do you like her, huh? Do you like her, is that it?"

Freddie's eyes assuaged. He knew Briella had trust issues, so he wasn't upset with her suspicions. He didn't think twice before answering. "Of course not, baby. You know you can trust me. I just miss her, okay? We were best friends, and I'm trying to regain that friendship. That's _all_, Briella. There's nothing to worry about."

Briella nodded, breathing out and molding herself into his warmth. "I'm sorry. I just…my mom left, my dad left – I don't want you to leave next."

He gently kissed her forehead, but said nothing. He never made promises – not anymore.

* * *

"Hey Sam," Carly smiled, letting herself into her best friend's home. Sam ran down the stairs and joined her best friend on the couch.

"Hey, what's up, Shay?"

"Nothing," Carly replied, grinning. "Freddie called me."

Sam turned away, trying to hide her blush. "And?"

"And he told me you guys are having dinner at his place tomorrow night."

"Not exactly," Sam declined. "I am having dinner at his place, but with his girlfriend and Alex, too."

"Briella is an amazing person; you guys should get to know each other – she's just like you." Carly rolled her eyes. "Where's your little rascal, anyway?"

"Her room," Sam shrugged. "Probably online playing Pak-Rat."

"Ugh," Carly groaned. "Don't tell me Spencer's got her addicted to that game again."

"Okay then," Sam agreed, sneering. "I won't _tell_ you that," she grabbed a pen nearest her and wrote something on her hand. "But I will _write_ it."

Carly chuckled at her best friend and once again rolled her eyes.

"Keep doing that, Shay, and your eyes might get stuck like that," Sam smirked. "And then, whose eyes would Gibby get to look at every day?"

Carly playfully hit Sam on the thigh. She and Gibby had been together for a little over a year now, though their relationship was going nowhere. The two didn't know what to do, or how to get there.

"He's actually taking me to a very fancy restaurant tonight."

Sam chuckled. "And you're not rushing to pretty yourself up?"

"I thought about doing that," she answered, honestly. "But it's Gibby, yanno? He likes how I look in anything."

Before Sam could reply, her phone began to rang, and she quickly answered it, watching as Carly exited the house, waving goodbye. "Hey,"

She'd recognize that voice anywhere. It was Freddie – the Nub. "Hey," she replied. "I thought you had work to finish."

"Eh," he responded, and she could almost see him shrug. "Work can wait."

She liked this. She liked how he avoided work just to talk to her.

"I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk in the park tonight. I hear it's a full moon."

"Um," she thought about it, but knew she had to decline. Who would watch Alex? "Sorry, I'll have to take a rain check…there's no one to watch Alex."

Freddie nodded. "Right, um, so we'll just have dinner tomorrow night at my place then?"

"Sure," Sam grinned to herself. "We'll be there…probably a bit late."

Freddie let a crooked smile slip across his face. "I wouldn't expect anything less, Puckett."

"Mom!" Alex's voice echoed throughout the house. "Spot just peed on my bed!"

She heard Freddie laugh lightly in the background. "I have to go, Alex's dog just messed up her bed." His laugh was more audible now.

"Bye, Sam," he stated. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

True to her prediction, Sam was a bit late to Freddie's house. It took her hours to get Alex off the Pak-Rat game, and to convince her to get ready. Before ringing the doorbell, she smoothed her shirt and ran a hand through her hair.

"Hey," Briella smiled, opening the door for Freddie's guests. Sam forced a smile and wandered inside, taking in the house's inner beauty. Her smile fell when she noticed a man already seated at the table.

And this man was not Freddie..

"Oh!" Briella grinned, seeing the skeptical look on Sam's face. "I hope you don't mind; Freddie invited his college friend, too. He thought you'd feel less lonely if another single individual was here. We know how left out people feel when-"

"Excuse me?" Sam interrupted, suddenly feeling outraged. Freddie had invited his friend over to make sure she didn't feel like a third wheel? Was he trying to set the two of them up? She didn't need setting up; she was perfectly fine alone.

"You'll love him," Briella assured. "Mason, this is Sam, and Sam, this is Mason."

Sam observed the man seated at the table. His countenance reverberated with rugged masculinity, and his features appeared slightly chiseled. His eyes were green, accentuating his slightly olive skin tone. His nose was adorably crooked, and his mouth was full and luscious. Sam was magnetized and couldn't help but stare. He flashed her a subtle grin whilst standing up and walking over to grab her hand. "Nice to meet you," he pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed it, allowing his lips to linger on the spot. Sam bit her lip and beamed.

"Hey," Freddie smiled, walking downstairs, just barely missing the hand kiss exchanged between Sam and Mason. "Are we all ready to eat?"

"Ugh," Alex groaned, holding her stomach. "I've _been_ ready."

Freddie took a seat beside Briella and watched as everyone else took their places.

Everything in the dinner went seemingly perfect – everyone got along, and even though Alex was the only child, she quite enjoyed it. Halfway through, Mason spoke up.

"Hey, this is really good lasagna, Ellie."

Ellie beamed. "Thanks, it's about the only thing I'm good at cooking."

"Well, it tastes nice," Sam agreed, making this the first nice comment she'd given Freddie's girlfriend all night. "You know what'd make it better?"

"What?" Freddie queried, curious as to what she'd say.

"Parmesan,"

Not even a minute passed before Freddie exited the kitchen with parmesan in his hand. He gave it to Sam and she sprinkled a significant amount on her lasagna. She dipped her fork into it and closed her eyes. "Mmn, this tastes just like the lasagna from Pini's."

Freddie nodded, rapidly agreeing. Then, suddenly, he laughed.

"What?" Sam questioned, wondering what was so funny.

"Remember that time you and I fought over how much cheese you piled onto your lasagna?"

Sam giggled. "Yeah, of course I remember that. Carly had to referee our fights."

"Those were the days," he smiled, his eyes locking with hers. Briella wiped her mouth with a napkin and cleared her throat.

"The 'days'? What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Sam stated, but it was clear it was something. She looked at Freddie and he continued for her.

"We're just thinking about our, um, first date."

The room went completely still. Every piece of silverware stopped being slapped against their plates, every bit of chatter silenced, and no one moved. No one was expecting that. At all. Not even Sam.

Finally, Briella nodded, taking in what had been said, and swallowed her last piece of lasagna. Without saying a word, she stood from her chair and dashed up the stairs.

Nobody moved.

* * *

**A/N-Wow, guys. Thanks for the support. I'm really happy with the responses I've gotten to the first chapter. I just had to write the next! **

**On a more…distressing note…I hope Paul Walker rests in peace. He was an amazing actor, and I hope the world never forgets him. **

**-Meg xx **


	3. Chapter 3

"Briella, please," Freddie said softly. "Open the door."

Her eyes darkened as she placed more clothes in her green and black suitcase. They all couldn't fit, but she'd take whatever would. The more knocks, the more times her need to leave strengthened.

The knocks were placid, almost as if the person were knocking on a door full of sleeping lions. Briella ignored the pain, and continued to pack her suitcase. She tried her best not to break down – she felt crying was a sign of weakness – but after two more knocks, she couldn't help herself. She ran to the bathroom and gathered up a few tissues, cursing at herself as she saw black on the used napkin. Her mascara was running.

She retreated back into their bedroom. "Leave me alone,"

There was silence for a few minutes, and she was sure he'd left, which left little hope in her. But after a minute, she heard the sound of a key shoving itself into the bedroom lock.

She cursed herself again, forgetting there was a spare just above the door ridge.

She heard his footsteps come nearer, and in her peripheral vision noticed his arms reaching out to her from behind.

"Don't," she swallowed. "Don't touch me, don't talk to me, and certainly don't try to explain anything to me."

"But you don't understand—"

Briella scoffed. "_I _don't understand? No, _you_ don't understand. You don't understand how it made me feel when you couldn't take your eyes off of her tonight. You don't understand how lonely I felt when instead of talking to me, you were talking to her. You don't understand how much of a nothing I feel like compared to her. _You _don't understand. _You_."

Freddie's eyes adverted to the suitcase filled with clothes, and realized she wasn't packing for just any vacation. "So, you're leaving?"

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't," she countered, wiping her eyes.

"Because I like you—"

She laughed, humorlessly. "You _like_ me. You haven't even told me you loved me. Not even once."

"We've only been together for six months, Briella," he breathed, running a hand through his thick, brown hair. "Give me a break."

She turned around and stared at him, her eyes welling up again. He walked forward, arms open wide, and fortunately, she stepped into his embrace. He kissed her forehead, and grasped her waist tighter.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh," he soothed. "_I'm_ sorry, okay? You didn't do anything wrong, Ella."

She sniffled and after a while they let go of each other. "I'm going to go check on Mason, Sam, and Alex, alright? You stay up here and unpack that suitcase."

She gave him a miniature, strained smile and watched him walk out of the room and down the stairs.

As she looked at the suitcase staring back at her, full of her clothing, she frowned. _God, I'm such an idiot, _she thought before obeying Freddie's command. She wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

Over the next few days, Sam did her absolute best to avoid Freddie. Considering the circumstances, it was hard to. Every day he called her, and it was difficult not to answer. She'd scattered the dinner scene the other night just before Freddie walked down, fortunately. Alex was at school, so she had the house to herself, with nothing to do.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts, and she maundered off the couch to open the door. Once halfway open, she gave her signature speech. "If you're here to sell Girl Scout cookies, my neighbor, Ash, over there is a real catch—" She stopped midsentence. "Freddie?"

"Hey," he grinned, making her melt.

"What are you doing here? How did you—are you stalking me?"

His eyes brimmed with tears of mirth, and the smile tugging his lips broke into a grin; completely enveloping his face. Her response was a light chuckle, and laced with a hum of amusement at the matter.

"I thought you of all people would know I knew how to work a GPS tracking device."

"Right," she nodded, frowning as he pressed past her into the house. "Wait, what are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Coming in. You weren't literally thinking about keeping me out there, were you?"

"Course not," she lied. "Well, why are you here anyways?"

"Honestly, I don't know. You rushed out on us the other day, and you weren't answering your phone…I guess I was just being a gentleman and checking up on you."

"Mmn," she rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't be here, you know? Your wife hates me."

"Wife? I have a girlfriend, that's all," he assured. "And s-she doesn't hate you."

Sam folded her arms across her chest, glaring at him as he browsed the pictures on the living room coffee table. "You don't have to lie, Benson."

Freddie sighed. "Fine, it's safe to say she likes my _mom_ more than you, but that doesn't matter to me."

Sam nodded, feeling disgusted. His mom was awful.

"Wow, I feel so wanted," she stated, sarcastically.

He chuckled. "So, tell me, Samantha, why isn't there a ring on your finger?"

She looked down at her hand, which he had reluctantly wrapped around his own. She dared to look into his eyes. She whispered, "Same reason why there's not one on yours."

All the memories came rushing back, and reluctantly, Sam looked into those deep chocolate eyes. He stared back down at her, and the two said nothing. Plucking a strand of her luminous blonde hair behind her ear, Freddie grabbed her other hand, and for a moment, she was pretty sure she could anticipate his next move, and she was ready for it.

"I want us to be friends again," he stated. Her eyes retreated from his, slowly dancing themselves back to safe territory. That was not what she was expecting. What she was expecting- well, it definitely wasn't that.

"Friends?" she repeated for confirmation.

"Yeah, I want our bond to be as strong as it was in high school, maybe even stronger."

She nodded, disguising her confusion as acceptance. "Sure, I guess," she faked a smile. "If you want to."

He let go of her hand. "Great, so I guess it's appropriate to begin where we left off."

"Sure," Sam shrugged, hiding her disappointment. But their conversation went on without any major tribulations.

* * *

Freddie looked up at the ceiling vents and let out a frustrated sigh. He leaned back into his leather office chair and stared at the white ceiling before him.

He didn't like to think about _her_, about the possibility of _them_, but sometimes he couldn't help himself. Now that she was back in his life, it hurt even more than before. He'd always had a special place for her in his heart, but after a while, the place darkened, and soon, it was almost as if the place had never existed. But now – now that he'd seen her again- all the frustration and agony went away, and the place reopened itself. Telling Sam he'd only wanted to be friends was possibly one of the hardest things he had to do.

But it was very much necessary. It would never work now. She had a daughter, and he was in a relationship with someone he truly adored.

"Benson, ain't it 'bout time for you to be headin' home?"

Freddie's eyes swiveled over to his boss, who was standing at his office door. "Yeah, I-I was just thinking."

"Well, less thinking, more working, alright?"

"Sure," Freddie stated, half-heartedly.

He knew he was too far in. He needed distance, and he needed it now.

* * *

**A/N: Woah, first of all: sorry this chapter took so long. I had exams and then a lot of appointments and events to attend. I didn't think it'd take quite this long to complete this chapter. Luckily, I'm on Christmas Break, so I'll have a while to write more! I do plan on leaving the state, though, so I'll be on the road a lot. But I'll make time. I swear! :)**

**Also, the second thing I want to address is the sequel to Deep Down Inside. A lot of people have been asking me about that, and I will get that to you soon, too! I had the first chapter written, but I didn't feel it met the correct expectations. I deleted it, but I'll start writing it all over. Hopefully, it'll come together willingly.**

**Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it! **

**Until next time,**

**-Meg xx **


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